The Real Reason She Kept Attracting the Wrong Men - and How She Stopped Settling

What finally set Emma free, and how she learned to attract love on her terms...

“I didn’t want to end up alone, but I was terrified of being hurt again.”

Emma was doing everything right - at least, from the outside looking in. She was juggling a demanding career, a household, raising her two children, and still recovering emotionally from a painful divorce. Her ex-husband had already moved on - fast, and that stung. Not just because of the betrayal, but because she was left to pick up the pieces… alone.

When he cheated for the first time, it shattered something deep inside her. Her confidence. Her trust. Her faith in true love. Emma wasn’t particularly naïve or idealistic, but she really thought they were solid. They still made love, they still made each other laugh, they had a nice life together.

How could he throw it all away? What really went through his mind? Emma was left with more questions than answers - and even less hope.  

“I kept telling myself I believed in love… but deep down, I didn’t believe it would happen again for me.”

The Search for Connection Felt Like Rejection

Following her friends’ advice, Emma ventured into the world of online dating. However, it felt like walking a tightrope: unsteady, exposed, and full of anxiety.

She was conscious about her body. Her age. Her worth...

She went on a few dates, but none of them felt right. The more attractive, charming men always seemed to want just one thing, and each time, it left her feeling used and a little more disillusioned. Or, there were the “dull” ones: no spark, just awkward conversations and forced small talk...

Until she met James, who seemed to have the best of both worlds. He was not only good-looking and undeniably sexy, but also “impressive on paper”: successful, generous, and articulate. He told Emma he wasn’t "like other men" and assured her he was searching for a meaningful relationship.

They had so much in common. Late-night conversations flowed easily. Every time her phone lit up with a message from him, her heart sang. The chemistry was unbelievable. And although it had only been a few weeks, Emma was already imagining a future together, browsing romantic getaways for the summer. It felt like her prayers had finally been answered.

One night, James didn’t respond to her usual goodnight text. Emma didn’t panic - he was a busy guy. The next day came and went: still nothing. His phone went straight to voicemail. When she checked the dating app, he had disappeared.

Emma's world began to crumble, just when she finally started to believe in love again. She’d been ghosted, without warning, without closure. Confused and hurting, she sent one last message, not angry or demanding, just asking why? Hoping for insight. Hoping to learn. But the silence stayed.

Was Emma’s Destiny to Keep Attracting the Wrong Men?

Months turned into years…

Emma wasn’t scared of being vulnerable - she was scared of getting it wrong again. She didn’t want to repeat the past. She definitely didn’t want to introduce someone flaky to her children, unlike her ex-husband who brought every new girlfriend home. She didn’t want to second-guess her instincts every time someone sent her mixed signals.

She wanted to feel in control of her love life. Instead, she felt stuck, powerless, and completely out of sync with herself and the modern dating scene. She was getting used to eating dinner alone, and to averting her eyes when happy couples holding hands passed her in town.

Her friends went out of the way to help by introducing her to single men they knew. Emma really tried but couldn’t fake the spark. She kept her profile on one dating site, but still kept attracting the wrong men...

...And on the worst days, the loneliness whispered: “Just settle. Lower your expectations. At least you won’t be alone.”

However, even on those hard days, a quiet voice inside her whispered back:

“You still deserve more. You still deserve real love and happiness.”

Then Everything Changed…

Emma stumbled upon a programme which felt like it had been created just for her. Not another dating app or “Find your soulmate in 10 days” gimmick, but a genuine shift in the way she approached love and dating.

She realised when it comes to dating and relationships, you can enlist professional help, just like the help you would seek trying to accomplish something in any other pursuit at which you aren’t an expert.

Through the course, she began piecing together her self-worth - this time, from the inside out. She stopped trying to be “enough” for others and started reconnecting with what she truly needed in a relationship.

She learned to recognize red flags - not just the obvious ones, but the subtle ones too, the ones she never even considered before. She let go of the pressure to impress and focused on feeling aligned.

The Result? Calm. Confidence. Clarity.

For the first time in years, Emma isn’t waiting to be chosen - she is doing the choosing. She no longer wastes time decoding texts or chasing emotionally unavailable men.

Men’s mind is no longer a complete mystery: she can finally understand why men behave the way they do and doesn’t expect them to behave like women and get annoyed when they don’t. She can see what didn't work with her ex-husband, with James, and every other man she'd met.

“It was like someone flipped a switch. I feel like me again - but a stronger, wiser version.”

Emma now sees dating as light-hearted, not terrifying or tedious. She’s in a place of power, not fear. She’s dating with clarity, not confusion.

Emma’s transformation hasn’t gone unnoticed: she’s attracting men who want to show up. Men who bring peace, not pressure. Who add to her life, not drain it. Since she knows her value, they can clearly see and appreciate it too, which wasn’t the case before.

Once again, the old saying proved true: men are like buses - you wait around for a year, and the moment one shows up, two or three more come rolling in. Which one is the right one for her? She now has a pretty good idea. Because she now sets the standard and uses the most effective vetting process there is.

The old Emma would’ve been giddy with excitement, eager to lock down a commitment as quickly as possible (and inevitably, push him away).

The new Emma is calm, grounded, and fully present - enjoying the moment while steadily creating a joyful future for herself.

Emma didn’t find love by being lucky.

She found it by finally putting herself first and understanding the anatomy of love.

If dating has ever felt more exhausting than exciting…

If you’ve ever worried you might have to settle just to avoid being alone…

There’s a better way!

This course helped Emma turn everything around and re-write her love story.

Start with the one relationship which transforms all the others: the one you have with yourself.

Click to find out how

If you have any questions, click here to book a free confidential consultation today.

Best wishes,

Mila Smith

Founder, "From Single to Couple" Relationship & Dating Consultancy